Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
