She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
