I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
