It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
