Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
