you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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