I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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