normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize