thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize