im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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