I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Even my vagina gasped.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
