loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
