have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
