Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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