Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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