I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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