Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
