508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
