would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize