There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just puked most of my soul out..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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