i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
