I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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