the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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