It was confusing and full of hummus
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize