You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
