i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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