New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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