Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize