My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
