I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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