i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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