Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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