Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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