We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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