Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
