Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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