i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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