I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
