He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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