i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
