College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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