when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
