I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
