There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
