I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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