Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
