i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
