Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
