47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
