He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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