One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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