He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
