I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize