remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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