Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
