Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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