I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
